sxywu · October 20, 2016 07:14
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diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
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 {"2TtdPbeKNFc":[{"start":466,"end":2235,"words":"We have a lot of guests"},{"start":466,"end":2235,"words":"on our show,"},{"start":2235,"end":4136,"words":"and they always have stories about meeting you"},{"start":4136,"end":5771,"words":"and fumbling and getting nervous."},{"start":5771,"end":7606,"words":"I don't know if you remember,"},{"start":7606,"end":10143,"words":"the first time I met you and the First Lady,"},{"start":10143,"end":13646,"words":"I was doing stand-up comedy at a barbecue for military families."},{"start":13646,"end":15381,"words":"That was great. We so appreciated it."},{"start":15381,"end":17283,"words":"Yeah. Thank you. I loved it, as well."},{"start":17283,"end":19419,"words":"And I was opening up for the Foo Fighters."},{"start":19419,"end":21487,"words":"It was Fourth of July in the White House."},{"start":21487,"end":23956,"words":"And I get there. I was so nervous to meet you."},{"start":23956,"end":26593,"words":"I was Googling how to say hello to the First Lady."},{"start":26593,"end":29662,"words":"Like, do I say, \"Hello, First Lady, Mrs. Obama."},{"start":29662,"end":30830,"words":"Mrs. Obama, First Lady.\""},{"start":30830,"end":32164,"words":"I didn't know how to say it."},{"start":32164,"end":33766,"words":"I think you actually said all of them."},{"start":33766,"end":34900,"words":"I think I actually did."},{"start":34900,"end":37469,"words":"Well, I wore a three-piece suit that day"},{"start":37469,"end":40073,"words":"because I was very -- I just wanted to impress you."},{"start":40073,"end":41540,"words":"[ Light laughter ]"},{"start":41540,"end":44177,"words":"But it was an outdoor event on the Fourth of July,"},{"start":44177,"end":46345,"words":"and I remember I got there,"},{"start":46345,"end":49382,"words":"and Dave Grohl was there in board shirts and a T-shirt."},{"start":49382,"end":50750,"words":"He goes, \"You look hot.\""},{"start":50750,"end":52985,"words":"I go, \"I really am. It's really boiling."},{"start":52985,"end":54154,"words":"This is crazy.\""},{"start":54154,"end":56656,"words":"I go, \"Aren't you meeting the president?\""},{"start":56656,"end":59725,"words":"He goes -- Basically saying, \"We're the Foo Fighters."},{"start":59725,"end":61927,"words":"We dress --\" I go, \"Yeah.\""},{"start":61927,"end":63296,"words":"And then we wait in line,"},{"start":63296,"end":65297,"words":"because we're going to get our picture taken with you guys."},{"start":65297,"end":66599,"words":"I was so nervous to meet you."},{"start":66599,"end":69135,"words":"And I went up and I was practicing,"},{"start":69135,"end":72137,"words":"like, \"Hello, First Lady, Mrs. First Lady.\""},{"start":72137,"end":73506,"words":"And I walk over,"},{"start":73506,"end":76175,"words":"and the First Lady starts laughing and looking at me."},{"start":76175,"end":78411,"words":"She goes, \"Oh, honey, oh, my gosh, you're so sweaty,\""},{"start":78411,"end":80179,"words":"and took my tie --"},{"start":80179,"end":82581,"words":"This is a true story. Loosened my tie."},{"start":82581,"end":83849,"words":"And I looked at you,"},{"start":83849,"end":86753,"words":"and you had a short-sleeved shirt and khakis on."},{"start":86753,"end":88588,"words":"I go, \"Hello, Mr. President, sir.\""},{"start":88588,"end":90556,"words":"And you go, \"Didn't you get the memo?"},{"start":90556,"end":91757,"words":"It's a barbecue.\""},{"start":91757,"end":93626,"words":"[ Laughter and applause ]"},{"start":97997,"end":102468,"words":"They took the picture and they escorted me out."},{"start":102468,"end":104304,"words":"And then I hadn't seen you since."},{"start":104304,"end":106405,"words":"[ Laughter ]"},{"start":106405,"end":108340,"words":"I was just wondering, do people get --"},{"start":108340,"end":110109,"words":"do you have any stories like that,"},{"start":110109,"end":112412,"words":"where people are just so embarrassing like that"},{"start":112412,"end":114380,"words":"and you tried to make them feel better?"},{"start":114380,"end":116983,"words":"Um... nothing that embarrassing."},{"start":116983,"end":118518,"words":"[ Laughter ]"},{"start":118518,"end":123289,"words":"I think that was actually the peak of awkwardness."},{"start":123289,"end":126693,"words":"Yeah, perfect. Thank you."},{"start":126693,"end":128595,"words":"Can I just ask you just straight up,"},{"start":128595,"end":130729,"words":"what is the first thing you're going to do"},{"start":130729,"end":132565,"words":"when you leave office, do you know?"},{"start":132565,"end":135835,"words":"I'm going to get some sleep, that's for sure."},{"start":135835,"end":137570,"words":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"start":137570,"end":142975,"words":"You know, it's actually a moving thing."},{"start":142975,"end":145277,"words":"You're talking about sentimentality."},{"start":145277,"end":147279,"words":"But I remember from my inauguration"},{"start":147279,"end":148581,"words":"seeing President Bush --"},{"start":148581,"end":149782,"words":"You get on Marine One,"},{"start":149782,"end":152317,"words":"and that's the last time you get on Marine One."},{"start":152317,"end":154053,"words":"They fly you to Andrews Air Force Base."},{"start":154053,"end":156021,"words":"And then you get on Air Force One,"},{"start":156021,"end":157456,"words":"and it's your last flight."},{"start":157456,"end":160526,"words":"And they'll take you anywhere you want."},{"start":160526,"end":165831,"words":"And I think it's fair to say that it will be someplace warm."},{"start":165831,"end":167767,"words":"Because it's going to be January,"},{"start":167767,"end":170102,"words":"and every inauguration has been freezing."},{"start":170102,"end":171504,"words":"Yeah."},{"start":171504,"end":174674,"words":"And then, you know, I think Michelle and I"},{"start":174674,"end":178311,"words":"will take a break somewhere for a couple weeks"},{"start":178311,"end":184016,"words":"and, you know, let the girls manage for themselves."},{"start":184016,"end":185918,"words":"[ Laughter ]"},{"start":184016,"end":185918,"words":"Yeah."},{"start":185918,"end":188421,"words":"Hopefully they'll be okay when we get back."},{"start":188421,"end":189588,"words":"[ Laughter ]"},{"start":189588,"end":190923,"words":"Well, if you need to stay warm,"}],"2ihOXaU0I8o":[{"start":0,"end":8770,"words":"[MUSIC]"},{"start":8770,"end":10111,"words":"&gt;&gt; All right."},{"start":10111,"end":11190,"words":"Here we go, Michelle."},{"start":11190,"end":16320,"words":"There's coupons because you're gonna need these probably, it's been a while."},{"start":16320,"end":18785,"words":"And you push the basket because nobody's gonna push it for you."},{"start":18785,"end":20625,"words":"&gt;&gt; [APPLAUSE] &gt;&gt; CVS of course."},{"start":20625,"end":22830,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; CVS stands for cotton,"},{"start":22830,"end":24160,"words":"vaseline and stuff."},{"start":24160,"end":24660,"words":"&gt;&gt; No it doesn't. &gt;&gt; [LAUGH]"},{"start":24660,"end":25160,"words":"&gt;&gt; And-"},{"start":25160,"end":25660,"words":"&gt;&gt; That's not true."},{"start":25660,"end":26320,"words":"&gt;&gt; It does."},{"start":26320,"end":28960,"words":"Do you want anything from the- &gt;&gt; What are these?"},{"start":28960,"end":30570,"words":"&gt;&gt; That's a personalized fan."},{"start":30570,"end":31583,"words":"&gt;&gt; This is a fan?"},{"start":31583,"end":32510,"words":"&gt;&gt; It seems like it is."},{"start":32510,"end":33458,"words":"Let's open it and see."},{"start":33458,"end":36050,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; This is new."},{"start":36050,"end":36770,"words":"Wait, don't!"},{"start":36770,"end":39080,"words":"Ellen, don't open these up in the store."},{"start":39080,"end":39830,"words":"&gt;&gt; Why not?"},{"start":39830,"end":40880,"words":"What if I don't like it?"},{"start":40880,"end":42886,"words":"Well then let's put it back."},{"start":42886,"end":45727,"words":"No, don't do that."},{"start":45727,"end":46715,"words":"&gt;&gt; Do you need coins?"},{"start":46715,"end":48650,"words":"Because there's a Coinstar over there."},{"start":48650,"end":49690,"words":"Ok?"},{"start":49690,"end":52420,"words":"See this is so good, I'm preparing you."},{"start":52420,"end":53290,"words":"Let's take a few."},{"start":53290,"end":54690,"words":"&gt;&gt; There."},{"start":54690,"end":56440,"words":"&gt;&gt; Ok, put them- &gt;&gt; Wait!"},{"start":56440,"end":59930,"words":"What if it's- Ok, what are we gonna do about this money?"},{"start":61840,"end":62809,"words":"This is, we got $21."},{"start":62809,"end":67701,"words":"&gt;&gt; The first lady is now up to $22."},{"start":67701,"end":70781,"words":"$24.25."},{"start":70781,"end":71891,"words":"&gt;&gt; How do you know when it's done?"},{"start":71891,"end":75080,"words":"Wait don't touch anything yet until this."},{"start":75080,"end":77430,"words":"$45.17."},{"start":77430,"end":77990,"words":"This isn't cash."},{"start":77990,"end":78960,"words":"&gt;&gt; This isn't cash."},{"start":78960,"end":80315,"words":"This is a rip off."},{"start":80315,"end":81760,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; What are we supposed to do?"},{"start":81760,"end":82954,"words":"See, I told you. You shouldn't have put all"},{"start":82954,"end":83596,"words":"those coins in there."},{"start":83596,"end":84629,"words":"&gt;&gt; Yeah, yeah, you're right."},{"start":84629,"end":85780,"words":"&gt;&gt; We should have started with like this."},{"start":85780,"end":87130,"words":"&gt;&gt; You're right."},{"start":87130,"end":88210,"words":"Is this the cash voucher?"},{"start":88210,"end":89590,"words":"&gt;&gt; No, no, I know what that is."},{"start":89590,"end":91202,"words":"This is a debit thing."},{"start":91202,"end":93718,"words":"&gt;&gt; Do you have a debit card? &gt;&gt; Ma'am, can you help us?"},{"start":93718,"end":94271,"words":"&gt;&gt; Hi, I'm Michelle."},{"start":94271,"end":94969,"words":"&gt;&gt; This is Michelle."},{"start":94969,"end":95522,"words":"&gt;&gt; I'm Sapay. &gt;&gt; Nice to meet you."},{"start":95522,"end":97700,"words":"&gt;&gt; What did people, they called you Michelle before the First Lady?"},{"start":97700,"end":98290,"words":"&gt;&gt; Yes."},{"start":98290,"end":98940,"words":"&gt;&gt; Okay, Shelley."},{"start":98940,"end":99785,"words":"We're gonna call her Shelley."},{"start":99785,"end":101100,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; Shelley."},{"start":101100,"end":104355,"words":"You slide it in, and then you put your PIN number in."},{"start":104355,"end":105890,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; Turn around."},{"start":105890,"end":108003,"words":"&gt;&gt; PIN number nine, five- &gt;&gt; Stop it!"},{"start":108003,"end":112665,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; Yeah, it was just hard to cover-"},{"start":112665,"end":113716,"words":"&gt;&gt; Okay, checking?"},{"start":113716,"end":114493,"words":"&gt;&gt; Michelle?"},{"start":114493,"end":115548,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH]"},{"start":115548,"end":122462,"words":"&gt;&gt; [MUSIC]"},{"start":122462,"end":123638,"words":"&gt;&gt; Wait. Bernie Sanders."},{"start":123638,"end":124228,"words":"No."},{"start":124228,"end":125264,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; It's not."},{"start":125264,"end":130647,"words":"No."},{"start":130647,"end":132210,"words":"That didn't look like Bernie Sanders to me."},{"start":132210,"end":133700,"words":"&gt;&gt; Not at all."},{"start":133700,"end":138450,"words":"&gt;&gt; No. You can't get in here."},{"start":138450,"end":139170,"words":"This is locked."},{"start":141120,"end":142990,"words":"&gt;&gt; What's so special about this stuff?"},{"start":142990,"end":143840,"words":"We might break it."},{"start":143840,"end":147188,"words":"&gt;&gt; How do you- &gt;&gt; I didn't realize they got some."},{"start":147188,"end":148437,"words":"Let's see."},{"start":148437,"end":149910,"words":"It doesn't make a noise."},{"start":149910,"end":151506,"words":"Hello?"},{"start":151506,"end":153830,"words":""},{"start":155730,"end":157565,"words":"We need help on aisle 2."},{"start":157565,"end":160812,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; Customer service on aisle two."},{"start":160812,"end":161508,"words":"Hi!"},{"start":161508,"end":162159,"words":"&gt;&gt; Hi. &gt;&gt; Good, hi!"},{"start":162159,"end":163745,"words":"How are you?"},{"start":163745,"end":164522,"words":"It's nice to see you."},{"start":164522,"end":165487,"words":"&gt;&gt; Hi, it's Shelly."},{"start":165487,"end":167078,"words":"Hi, it's Ellen."},{"start":167078,"end":168147,"words":"&gt;&gt; There you go. &gt;&gt; You know what?"},{"start":168147,"end":169274,"words":"Sasha needed some earphones."},{"start":169274,"end":171381,"words":"I'm gonna get some for her."},{"start":171381,"end":171963,"words":"How much are these?"},{"start":171963,"end":173600,"words":"I'm just picking up stuff."},{"start":173600,"end":175070,"words":"What are you doing?"},{"start":175070,"end":176670,"words":"&gt;&gt; I'm just scratching your back."},{"start":176670,"end":177818,"words":"&gt;&gt; I'm trying to focus."},{"start":177818,"end":178383,"words":"&gt;&gt; Okay."},{"start":178383,"end":182230,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; Okay, I'm not really itchy."},{"start":182230,"end":184436,"words":"I am looking for headphones though."},{"start":184436,"end":185080,"words":"What do you think?"},{"start":185080,"end":189582,"words":"Do you think, could you chill out on the itching and help me with this here?"},{"start":189582,"end":192645,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; Don't scratch him."},{"start":192645,"end":197960,"words":"&gt;&gt; You know this is, this is not how you behave in a CVS."},{"start":197960,"end":200028,"words":"Stop scratching him."},{"start":200028,"end":202030,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; Stop it."},{"start":202030,"end":205700,"words":"&gt;&gt; He likes it. &gt;&gt; [LAUGH] It's good."},{"start":205700,"end":206610,"words":"&gt;&gt; Did that feel good?"},{"start":206610,"end":207520,"words":"&gt;&gt; Yeah, it sure did."},{"start":207520,"end":208790,"words":"&gt;&gt; It was annoying to me."},{"start":208790,"end":209760,"words":"&gt;&gt; We are gonna get it cheaper."},{"start":209760,"end":215328,"words":"[MUSIC]"},{"start":215328,"end":216150,"words":"&gt;&gt; Okay."},{"start":216150,"end":216960,"words":"&gt;&gt; All right, here we go."},{"start":216960,"end":219045,"words":"&gt;&gt; Now, do you entertain trick or treaters at your house?"},{"start":219045,"end":220589,"words":"&gt;&gt; No. I turn all the lights out"},{"start":220589,"end":221180,"words":"and I- &gt;&gt; Man."},{"start":221180,"end":221680,"words":"&gt;&gt; I- &gt;&gt; You should-"},{"start":221680,"end":222738,"words":"&gt;&gt; Close all drapes."},{"start":222738,"end":223758,"words":"[MUSIC]"},{"start":223760,"end":225254,"words":"&gt;&gt; All right, magazines."},{"start":225260,"end":226370,"words":"Let's see, who's on it?"},{"start":226370,"end":227560,"words":"Are you on the cover of anything?"},{"start":227560,"end":228864,"words":"&gt;&gt; Let's see if they have Essence"},{"start":228864,"end":230356,"words":"here, okay?"},{"start":231040,"end":233473,"words":"&gt;&gt; Here I am."},{"start":233480,"end":235600,"words":"&gt;&gt; There you are, with Rachel."},{"start":235600,"end":236648,"words":"What are you doing with Rachel?"},{"start":236648,"end":237865,"words":"&gt;&gt; Do you have a magazine I could be on with you?"},{"start":237865,"end":239340,"words":"&gt;&gt; I thought you were my best friend, no I have a television show."},{"start":239860,"end":241900,"words":"&gt;&gt; Here I am here we go."},{"start":244500,"end":246020,"words":"&gt;&gt; Do you want any of this?"},{"start":246020,"end":247000,"words":"&gt;&gt; Wine in a box."},{"start":247000,"end":248250,"words":"&gt;&gt; Yep, wine in a box."},{"start":248250,"end":250130,"words":"&gt;&gt; How does this work?"},{"start":250130,"end":252120,"words":"&gt;&gt; You just &gt;&gt; How do you get it out of here?"},{"start":252120,"end":252800,"words":"&gt;&gt; Like that."},{"start":252800,"end":255390,"words":"&gt;&gt; Wait really, where is the tab?"},{"start":257640,"end":258480,"words":"&gt;&gt; Back here."},{"start":258480,"end":260450,"words":"&gt;&gt; We're not going to open it man."},{"start":261380,"end":262114,"words":"We need cups."},{"start":262220,"end":264351,"words":"[LAUGH] &gt;&gt; Get this one."},{"start":264360,"end":265710,"words":"&gt;&gt; No."},{"start":265710,"end":268890,"words":"[LAUGH] That's not a cup, that's not an official cup to use."},{"start":268890,"end":270695,"words":"&gt;&gt; I think it is a cup."},{"start":270700,"end":275410,"words":"&gt;&gt; All right, six weeks after, you can drink this for six weeks after opening?"},{"start":275880,"end":279515,"words":"You are really not a good person to shop with."},{"start":279520,"end":281895,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] I'm a great person to shop with."},{"start":281900,"end":283700,"words":"&gt;&gt; Does anybody know how to open wine in a box?"},{"start":283700,"end":284629,"words":"&gt;&gt; How do you open wine in a box?"},{"start":284629,"end":286111,"words":"&gt;&gt; Have you ever had wine in a box?"},{"start":286140,"end":288000,"words":"&gt;&gt; You with the baby, come over here."},{"start":288000,"end":291350,"words":"You need wine more than anybody, you have a brand-new baby."},{"start":291350,"end":293740,"words":"&gt;&gt; So put the cup under so it doesn't start to pour on the ground."},{"start":293740,"end":295335,"words":"&gt;&gt; That's a good- &gt;&gt; And then you just turn it."},{"start":295340,"end":295854,"words":"&gt;&gt; Turn it."},{"start":295860,"end":297786,"words":"&gt;&gt; All right. &gt;&gt; Yep, there you go."},{"start":297786,"end":298630,"words":"&gt;&gt; Okay, here you go."},{"start":298630,"end":300200,"words":"Who wants wine?"},{"start":300200,"end":302082,"words":"Anybody, anybody, all right."},{"start":302082,"end":303948,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; That's good, that's good."},{"start":303948,"end":304630,"words":"What's your name?"},{"start":304630,"end":306357,"words":"&gt;&gt; My name is Jacquelyn."},{"start":306360,"end":306914,"words":"&gt;&gt; Jacquelyn."},{"start":306920,"end":308000,"words":"&gt;&gt; Yeah."},{"start":308000,"end":308730,"words":"&gt;&gt; Sign this."},{"start":308730,"end":309750,"words":"&gt;&gt; All right, Jacquelyn."},{"start":312260,"end":314285,"words":"&gt;&gt; Shelly and I just signed the box of wine for you."},{"start":314660,"end":315660,"words":"&gt;&gt; You're so nice."},{"start":316620,"end":318290,"words":"&gt;&gt; Ellen, look at this baby."},{"start":318290,"end":319195,"words":"&gt;&gt; Let's sign the baby."},{"start":319200,"end":321185,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; Just sign the baby."},{"start":321185,"end":323205,"words":"&gt;&gt; You want us to sign the baby?"},{"start":323205,"end":323920,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; Aw."},{"start":323920,"end":325342,"words":"&gt;&gt; Avery is beautiful."},{"start":325342,"end":326249,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH]."},{"start":326249,"end":328314,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] She's out of control."},{"start":328600,"end":332550,"words":"&gt;&gt; Don't you want me to sign the- &gt;&gt; You were about to head for"},{"start":332550,"end":333310,"words":"the forehead."},{"start":333310,"end":335415,"words":"&gt;&gt; And then I go down, like that."},{"start":335420,"end":337455,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; My, thank you."},{"start":337460,"end":339140,"words":"Not, not no, don't do that."},{"start":339140,"end":340804,"words":"&gt;&gt; Go to sleep."},{"start":341140,"end":342408,"words":"Go to sleep."},{"start":343260,"end":344904,"words":"&gt;&gt; You should go now."},{"start":345680,"end":347671,"words":"She's up, you woke her up."},{"start":347680,"end":350129,"words":"&gt;&gt; Go to sleep little baby."},{"start":350140,"end":352317,"words":"Go to sleep."},{"start":352340,"end":354117,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; You're scaring her."},{"start":354140,"end":354810,"words":"&gt;&gt; No."},{"start":354820,"end":355790,"words":"&gt;&gt; Thank you. &gt;&gt; Thank you."},{"start":356340,"end":359030,"words":"&gt;&gt; You open it, you- &gt;&gt; Michelle what kind of cream do you need"},{"start":359030,"end":360736,"words":"for that rash that you were telling me about?"},{"start":360740,"end":362004,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; [LAUGH] The rash?"},{"start":363770,"end":368862,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] We need a rash for"},{"start":368862,"end":371962,"words":"a rash that Shelley has."},{"start":371962,"end":374229,"words":"Where is the rash?"},{"start":374229,"end":375722,"words":"What area were you telling me about?"},{"start":375722,"end":376475,"words":"&gt;&gt; My shoulder."},{"start":376480,"end":378630,"words":"&gt;&gt; Lower than that."},{"start":378630,"end":380685,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; A book."},{"start":380685,"end":383675,"words":"&gt;&gt; Get this. Lindsey Sands, Lady Pirate."},{"start":383680,"end":384550,"words":"&gt;&gt; Wow, look at this."},{"start":384550,"end":385550,"words":"&gt;&gt; Let's read some."},{"start":385580,"end":389570,"words":"&gt;&gt; The water was flat as a looking glass capturing the moonlight and"},{"start":389570,"end":392670,"words":"stars that twinkled down from above and"},{"start":392670,"end":396570,"words":"reflecting just enough light that the ship gliding ahead- I don't know."},{"start":397600,"end":399420,"words":"&gt;&gt; Alright, we're gonna head to self checkout over here."},{"start":399420,"end":400050,"words":"&gt;&gt; Alright. Well wait."},{"start":400050,"end":401031,"words":"Do you know what you're doing?"},{"start":401040,"end":403749,"words":"&gt;&gt; No but I guess you scan it."},{"start":403749,"end":405070,"words":"&gt;&gt; Do you have your extra care card?"},{"start":405070,"end":405870,"words":"&gt;&gt; Where are you?"},{"start":405870,"end":408090,"words":"&gt;&gt; Do you have an extra care card?"},{"start":408090,"end":408590,"words":"&gt;&gt; Jose?"},{"start":409640,"end":410140,"words":"Jose."},{"start":411360,"end":412930,"words":"&gt;&gt; Alright, we're checking out now."},{"start":412930,"end":414721,"words":"&gt;&gt; Jose, can you see?"},{"start":414721,"end":417179,"words":"&gt;&gt; Yes, I can see."},{"start":417540,"end":419380,"words":"&gt;&gt; Jose, can you see if you can help us?"},{"start":419380,"end":420281,"words":"We don't know what we're doing."},{"start":420300,"end":421839,"words":"&gt;&gt; I've never done self checkouts."},{"start":421840,"end":422910,"words":"&gt;&gt; Can you just give it to us?"},{"start":422920,"end":424013,"words":"We are both very busy with..."},{"start":424040,"end":425017,"words":"&gt;&gt; No, we're going to pay!"},{"start":425040,"end":426680,"words":"We're going to pay."},{"start":426720,"end":428100,"words":"No! 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THE BOTTOM LAYER IS SALSA, AND THE TOP SIX LAYERS ARE DUST."},{"start":244466,"end":246466,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: THAT SOUNDS GOOD."},{"start":246466,"end":250033,"words":"SAVE ME SOME OF THAT."},{"start":250033,"end":250700,"words":"WELL, THANK YOU, SIR."},{"start":250700,"end":256266,"words":"AND TO YOU AND ALL THOSE SERVING OVERSEAS, PLEASE STAY SAFE."},{"start":256266,"end":260000,"words":"&gt;&gt; THANK YOU, STEPHEN."},{"start":260000,"end":264666,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: THIS ONE I HAVE TO WARM UP A LITTLE BIT."},{"start":264666,"end":267800,"words":"THIS ONE SAY HAIL MARY."},{"start":267800,"end":268000,"words":"BOOM!"},{"start":268000,"end":272100,"words":"ASTRONAUT SCOTT KELLEY AT THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION."},{"start":272100,"end":278400,"words":"SCOTT, DID YOU FOLKS UP THERE WATCH THE GAME?"},{"start":278400,"end":280300,"words":"&gt;&gt; WE ABSOLUTELY DID WATCH THE GAME FROM UP HERE, AND IT WAS A"},{"start":280300,"end":282000,"words":"GREAT VIEW FROM OUR SKYBOX."},{"start":282000,"end":284033,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: DID YOU DO ANY KIND OF SUPER BOWL PARTY, MAKE A BIG"},{"start":284033,"end":286700,"words":"BATCH OF CHILI OR SOMETHING?"},{"start":286700,"end":289566,"words":"&gt;&gt; WELL, CHILI, UH, WE WOULDN'T MAKE CHILI, BECAUSE IT'S NOT"},{"start":289566,"end":294400,"words":"LIKE WE CAN CRACK A WINDOW UP HERE."},{"start":294400,"end":299266,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: I GET YOUR DRIFT, SCOTT."},{"start":299266,"end":305966,"words":"DO YOU THINK YOU CAN THROW ME A SPIRAL FROM UP THERE?"},{"start":305966,"end":306533,"words":"&gt;&gt; I CAN THROW YOU A SPIRAL."},{"start":306533,"end":310100,"words":"I CAN TRY AT LEAST."},{"start":310100,"end":310966,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: ALL RIGHT."},{"start":310966,"end":312933,"words":"I HOPE HE'S OKAY."},{"start":312933,"end":314500,"words":"WE'VE LOST THE FEED."},{"start":314500,"end":317700,"words":"AND APPARENTLY THE BALL."},{"start":317700,"end":319200,"words":"DO WE KNOW WHERE IT IS?"},{"start":319200,"end":323633,"words":"IS IT JUST FLOATING OUT IN SPACE SOMEPLACE?"},{"start":323633,"end":327533,"words":"WHO'S GOT THE BALL?"},{"start":327533,"end":334833,"words":"( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) &gt;&gt; Stephen: THANKS CHEWIE."},{"start":334833,"end":338866,"words":"HE'S SHEDDING."},{"start":338866,"end":343766,"words":"THAT GUY WOULD MAKE A GOOD LINEBACKER OR A GREAT MASCOT."},{"start":343766,"end":345566,"words":"OKAY, WE GOT TIME FOR ONE MORE."},{"start":345566,"end":346933,"words":"I CAN'T QUITE SEE WHO IT IS."},{"start":346933,"end":353800,"words":"YOU IN THE BACK, THE TALL GUY WITH THE REALLY BIG EARS."},{"start":353800,"end":358200,"words":"( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) &gt;&gt; NICE ARM, STEPHEN."},{"start":358200,"end":359133,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: PRESIDENT OBAMA!"},{"start":359133,"end":364566,"words":"DID YOU WATCH THE GAME, SIR?"},{"start":364566,"end":366300,"words":"&gt;&gt; OF COURSE, I DID."},{"start":366300,"end":368866,"words":"AFTER EVERY SUPER BOWL I CALL THE WINNING TEAM AND"},{"start":368866,"end":372166,"words":"CONGRATULATE THEM, AND SOMETIMES I ALSO CALL THE LOSING TEAM,"},{"start":372166,"end":373766,"words":"BECAUSE SOMETIMES I BET ON THEM."},{"start":373766,"end":376566,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: CIRC HATE TO BRAKE THIS TO YOU."},{"start":376566,"end":378100,"words":"BUT BETTING IS ILLEGAL?"},{"start":378100,"end":379666,"words":"&gt;&gt; I'M THE PRESIDENT."},{"start":379666,"end":380533,"words":"I HONOR PARDON MYSELF."},{"start":380533,"end":381566,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: FAIR ENOUGH."},{"start":381566,"end":384100,"words":"SIR, WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF TONIGHT A GAME?"},{"start":384100,"end":387066,"words":"&gt;&gt; PROBABLY WHEN THE WINNING TEAM SEALED THE DEAL WITH THE"},{"start":387066,"end":388800,"words":"TOUCHDOWN THANKS TO THE GUY WHO WAS REALLY GOOD."},{"start":388800,"end":390566,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: SIR, THAT'S INCREDIBLY VAGUE."},{"start":390566,"end":392666,"words":"ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU WATCHED THE GAME?"},{"start":392666,"end":394733,"words":"&gt;&gt; WELL, LOOK, YOU CAUGHT ME."},{"start":394733,"end":395933,"words":"THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY LIVE."},{"start":395933,"end":399533,"words":"THIS IS A PRETAPE WE SHOT LAST WEEK."},{"start":399533,"end":400033,"words":"( LAUGHTER )."},{"start":400033,"end":402866,"words":"&gt;&gt; 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I DIDN'T SAY THAT."},{"start":427300,"end":427966,"words":"OF COURSE, I DO."},{"start":427966,"end":431333,"words":"IT WAS THE DENVER BRONCOS."},{"start":431333,"end":432200,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: WHAT!"},{"start":432200,"end":434800,"words":"IF IT WAS A PRETAPE, HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW THAT?"},{"start":434800,"end":436333,"words":"&gt;&gt; STEPHEN, I AM THE PRESIDENT."},{"start":436333,"end":439633,"words":"AND IT TURNS OUT ALL THE SUPER BOWL WINNERS FOR THE NEXT 50"},{"start":439633,"end":442733,"words":"YEARS ARE WRITTEN ON THE BACK OF THE CONSTITUTION."},{"start":442733,"end":444800,"words":"( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S THE PLOT OF \"NATIONAL"},{"start":444800,"end":446033,"words":"TREASURE 3.\""},{"start":446033,"end":450866,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: SIR, THERE IS NO \"NATIONAL TREASURE 3.\""},{"start":450866,"end":451666,"words":"&gt;&gt; THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK."},{"start":451666,"end":452233,"words":"THERE WILL BE."},{"start":452233,"end":455566,"words":"THE SCRIPT IS ON THE BACK OF THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE."},{"start":455566,"end":457433,"words":"( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) &gt;&gt; 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[LAUGH] &gt;&gt; Here's one, here's one."},{"start":82606,"end":86860,"words":"&gt;&gt; [APPLAUSE] [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; As you're putting, you wanna say,"},{"start":86860,"end":90365,"words":"the shadow from your ears, &gt;&gt; [LAUGH]"},{"start":90365,"end":93432,"words":"&gt;&gt; Is really messing up my putt."},{"start":93432,"end":95430,"words":"[LAUGH] Try that one."},{"start":95430,"end":98955,"words":"&gt;&gt; [APPLAUSE] &gt;&gt; I'm sure you'll say that."},{"start":98955,"end":101281,"words":"&gt;&gt; Yeah, for sure."},{"start":101281,"end":102105,"words":"&gt;&gt; That is low."},{"start":102105,"end":104696,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; That's what trash talking is."},{"start":104696,"end":105673,"words":"&gt;&gt; That's what trash talking is."},{"start":105673,"end":108256,"words":"&gt;&gt; That is the trash part of the talking."},{"start":108256,"end":109569,"words":"&gt;&gt; That's not fair though, he has 50 secret service out there so"},{"start":109569,"end":111024,"words":"if I trash talk, he just gives them the look and then I'm out of there."},{"start":111024,"end":111660,"words":"&gt;&gt; Yup."},{"start":111660,"end":114810,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; And we never see you again."},{"start":114810,"end":115770,"words":"We don't know what happened."},{"start":115770,"end":117718,"words":"&gt;&gt; [INAUDIBLE] &gt;&gt; Last we saw you play golf."},{"start":117718,"end":119698,"words":"Let's talk about what you're doing together."},{"start":119698,"end":121218,"words":"You're doing something called Drink Up."},{"start":121218,"end":124920,"words":"Which, I love that you're doing something about water."},{"start":124920,"end":126740,"words":"Because I am a big fan of water."},{"start":126740,"end":128230,"words":"I think everyone should drink water."},{"start":128230,"end":130000,"words":"It's good for you in so many different ways."},{"start":130000,"end":131810,"words":"It flushes out all the bad stuff."},{"start":131810,"end":133267,"words":"It's good for you, it's better for"},{"start":133267,"end":136476,"words":"you than anything else that you could possibly drink, so tell us about Drink Up."},{"start":136476,"end":137638,"words":"&gt;&gt; You said it best."},{"start":137638,"end":138850,"words":"&gt;&gt; Really."},{"start":138850,"end":139494,"words":"&gt;&gt; It's like, duh."},{"start":139494,"end":140284,"words":"&gt;&gt; It's true."},{"start":140284,"end":144414,"words":"&gt;&gt; Teaming up with our first lady and my partner Brita to encourage families and"},{"start":144414,"end":148737,"words":"kids to drink more water, more often, and giving them an affordable option for"},{"start":148737,"end":150175,"words":"better tasting water so."},{"start":150175,"end":153429,"words":"&gt;&gt; And one thing I'm so proud about with you, Stephen,"},{"start":153429,"end":157708,"words":"is that you have- you are supporting water, fruits and vegetables."},{"start":157708,"end":162202,"words":"I mean, you are stepping up and endorsing things that are healthy for"},{"start":162202,"end":163532,"words":"kids and families."},{"start":163532,"end":167234,"words":"&gt;&gt; [APPLAUSE] &gt;&gt; Our audience can drink more great"},{"start":167234,"end":169930,"words":"tasting water with their Brita water filters and"},{"start":169930,"end":172176,"words":"a $200 American Express Gift Card."}],"i_Ijjkt6Fkw":[{"start":867,"end":2135,"words":"Speaking of reality TV,"},{"start":867,"end":2135,"words":""},{"start":2135,"end":3736,"words":"I don't know if you saw \"Celebrity Apprentice.\""},{"start":3736,"end":5104,"words":"I did."},{"start":3736,"end":5104,"words":"It's a great show, yeah."},{"start":5104,"end":7407,"words":"[ Laughter ]"},{"start":7407,"end":9542,"words":"Has Donald Trump called you for advice"},{"start":9542,"end":11677,"words":"or talked to you at all?"},{"start":11677,"end":13279,"words":"And first of all, you've given him"},{"start":13279,"end":15615,"words":"some pretty good advice so far if you have."},{"start":13279,"end":15615,"words":"Yeah."},{"start":15615,"end":16849,"words":"But has he called and talked to you?"},{"start":16849,"end":18017,"words":"I would call you if I was running."},{"start":16849,"end":18017,"words":"No."},{"start":18017,"end":20553,"words":"No, he hasn't."},{"start":20553,"end":22254,"words":"No."},{"start":20553,"end":22254,"words":""},{"start":22254,"end":25157,"words":"Not that I know of. 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STAFF."},{"start":97931,"end":100967,"words":"WE LIVE IN A HOUSE WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVE US AND CARE ABOUT US."},{"start":100967,"end":103903,"words":"AND, YOU KNOW, WE'RE GOING TO BE WALKING AWAY FROM ALL THAT AND"},{"start":103903,"end":106072,"words":"IT'S JUST BEEN AN HONOR."},{"start":106072,"end":110043,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: HAVE YOU HAD TO SAY TO THE KIDS, \"BE PREPARED."},{"start":110043,"end":111845,"words":"THE NEXT HOUSE IS NOT GOING TO BE LIKE THIS.\""},{"start":111845,"end":115882,"words":"&gt;&gt; I ACTUALLY MADE MY KIDS START PACKING THEIR ROOMS ALREADY."},{"start":115882,"end":117283,"words":"IT'S LIKE, GET THIS DONE."},{"start":117283,"end":117984,"words":"WELL, YOU KNOW."},{"start":117984,"end":119919,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: YOU DON'T UPON TO KEEP IT TO THE LAST MINUTE."},{"start":119919,"end":123089,"words":"&gt;&gt; MY THING SIF YOU DON'T PACK IT, I'M THROWING IT OUT."},{"start":123089,"end":124157,"words":"THAT'S WHAT I 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James: MISSY ELLIOTT."},{"start":659058,"end":659492,"words":"HOW ARE YOU?"},{"start":659492,"end":661627,"words":"&gt;&gt; WHAT'S GOING ON?"},{"start":661627,"end":664563,"words":"&gt;&gt; James: SO YOU'RE IN THE SONG?"},{"start":664563,"end":665998,"words":"YOU'RE FORMING A SQUAD HERE?"},{"start":665998,"end":671437,"words":"&gt;&gt; WE HAVE OUR GIRL POWER SQUAD AND WE'RE TALKING ABOUT"},{"start":671437,"end":671704,"words":"EDUCATION."},{"start":671704,"end":676308,"words":"EDUCATION ALL OVER THE WORLD, RIGHT?"},{"start":676308,"end":677276,"words":"&gt;&gt; EVERYWHERE."},{"start":677276,"end":680146,"words":"&gt;&gt; WE FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE MISSY ON THE SONG."},{"start":680146,"end":690289,"words":"&gt;&gt; James: I FEEL LIKE MISSY WE CAN'T HAVE YOU IN THE CAR"},{"start":690289,"end":696095,"words":"WITHOUT TAKING IT BACK."},{"start":696095,"end":704270,"words":"[♪] MISSY BE PUTTIN' IT DOWN"},{"start":704270,"end":706105,"words":"I'M THE HOTTEST 'ROUND I TOLD Y'ALL MOTHER-OOH"},{"start":706105,"end":707940,"words":"Y'ALL CAN'T STOP ME NOW LISTEN TO ME NOW"},{"start":707940,"end":710242,"words":"I'M LASTING TWENTY ROUNDS AND IF YOU WANT ME THEN COME AND"},{"start":710242,"end":713312,"words":"GET ME NOW IS YOU WITH ME NOW?"},{"start":713312,"end":715715,"words":"THEN BIGGIE-BIGGIE-BOUNCE I KNOW YOU DIG THE WAY I"},{"start":715715,"end":719585,"words":"SW-SW-SWITCH MY STYLE HOLLA"},{"start":719585,"end":721287,"words":"PEOPLE SING AROUND NOW PEOPLE GATHER 'ROUND"},{"start":721287,"end":723723,"words":"NOW PEOPLE JUMP AROUND GO, GET UR FREAK ON"},{"start":723723,"end":725825,"words":"GO, GET UR FREAK ON GO, GET UR FREAK ON"},{"start":725825,"end":729095,"words":"GO, GET UR FREAK ON GO, GET UR FREAK ON"},{"start":729095,"end":731897,"words":"GO, GET UR FREAK ON GO, GET UR, GET UR, GET UR, GET"},{"start":731897,"end":742808,"words":"UR, GET UR FREAK ON SPIT IT OUT"},{"start":742808,"end":743743,"words":"IN YOUR FACE."},{"start":743743,"end":749982,"words":"OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND GIVE YOU A TASTE."},{"start":749982,"end":756455,"words":"TALK TO ME DON'T COPY ME"},{"start":756455,"end":769168,"words":"I KNOW YOU FEEL ME NOW I KNOW YOU HEAR ME NOW"},{"start":769168,"end":771470,"words":"GO, GET UR FREAK ON GO, GET UR FREAK ON"},{"start":771470,"end":773706,"words":"GO, GET UR FREAK ON GO, GET UR FREAK ON"},{"start":773706,"end":775474,"words":"GO, GET UR FREAK ON GO, GET UR FREAK ON"},{"start":775474,"end":785885,"words":"GO, GET UR, GET UR, GET UR, GET UR, GET UR FREAK ON"},{"start":785885,"end":793959,"words":"&gt;&gt; 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We have to take another break."},{"start":90230,"end":91780,"words":"&gt;&gt; That is indisputable."},{"start":91780,"end":92450,"words":"&gt;&gt; Yep."},{"start":92450,"end":93970,"words":"And you have been a great President."},{"start":93970,"end":96410,"words":"And like you said people can say things over and over and"},{"start":96410,"end":99940,"words":"over again about unemployment or the economy or anything else."},{"start":99940,"end":104070,"words":"If you listen to that, you're gonna believe it."},{"start":104070,"end":108650,"words":"If you look into it and see what the facts are It's just not the truth."},{"start":108650,"end":110070,"words":"&gt;&gt; We're better off now then when I came in."},{"start":110070,"end":110720,"words":"There's no doubt."},{"start":110720,"end":111542,"words":"&gt;&gt; You've done an amazing job."}],"nH2OVbgD7G8":[{"start":110,"end":2560,"words":"I'm sure you heard the president"},{"start":110,"end":2560,"words":"was here on Friday."},{"start":2560,"end":5505,"words":"And if you didn't hear, the president was here on Friday."},{"start":5505,"end":6481,"words":"&gt;&gt; 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Stephen: HEY, HEY, ARE YOU STILL WEAK?"},{"start":83083,"end":84250,"words":"&gt;&gt; OH!"},{"start":84250,"end":99265,"words":"( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YEAH."},{"start":99265,"end":101634,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: HEY, MICHELLE?"},{"start":101634,"end":104170,"words":"&gt;&gt; WHAT?"},{"start":104170,"end":106973,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: NOTHIN'."},{"start":106973,"end":111077,"words":"( LAUGHTER ) &gt;&gt; HEY, STEPHEN?"},{"start":111077,"end":114314,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: HEY, YEAH?"},{"start":114314,"end":118785,"words":"&gt;&gt; IF YOU GOT STUCK ON A DESERT ISLAND WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON,"},{"start":118785,"end":121754,"words":"WHO WOULD YOU PICK?"},{"start":121754,"end":124090,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: OH, I'D PICK THE PRESIDENT."},{"start":124090,"end":125492,"words":"HOW ABOUT YOU?"},{"start":125492,"end":127527,"words":"&gt;&gt; BEYONCE."},{"start":127527,"end":129062,"words":"( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )"},{"start":129062,"end":131664,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT."},{"start":131664,"end":132165,"words":"CAN I CHANGE TO BEYONCE?"},{"start":132165,"end":132632,"words":"&gt;&gt; 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Stephen: I'M GOING TO DO THAT."},{"start":315048,"end":317583,"words":"&gt;&gt; HEY, STEPHEN."},{"start":317583,"end":321287,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: YEAH."},{"start":321287,"end":326159,"words":"&gt;&gt; IF YOU GOT ONE WISH WHAT WOULD IT BE?"},{"start":326159,"end":327360,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: I'M NOT TELLING UNLESS YOU TELL."},{"start":327360,"end":328628,"words":"&gt;&gt; WELL, I'M NOT TELLING UNLESS YOU TELL."},{"start":328628,"end":329862,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: OKAY, LET'S COUNT TO THREE AND SAY THEM AT THE SAME"},{"start":329862,"end":330330,"words":"TIME."},{"start":330330,"end":331297,"words":"&gt;&gt; OKAY."},{"start":331297,"end":334801,"words":"ONE, TWO, THREE!"},{"start":334801,"end":337236,"words":"IMPROVE ACCESS TO EDUCATION FOR THE 62 MILLION GIRLS WORLDWIDE"},{"start":337236,"end":340606,"words":"WHO ARE NOT IN SCHOOL!"},{"start":340606,"end":347480,"words":"( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) &gt;&gt; JINX!"},{"start":347480,"end":350783,"words":"MAO YOU CAN'T TALK UNTIL I SAY YOUR NAME, STEPHEN!"},{"start":350783,"end":352452,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: THAT COUNTS!"},{"start":352452,"end":354220,"words":"MY FRIEND CAN MICHELLE OBAMA, EVERYBODY."}],"nLt2hPklBrE":[{"start":4704,"end":5372,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: HI."},{"start":4704,"end":5372,"words":""},{"start":5372,"end":6072,"words":"&gt;&gt; CAN'T GO IN."},{"start":6072,"end":7073,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: I JUST WANT TO SAY HELLO TO FLOTUS."},{"start":7073,"end":9676,"words":"I BROUGHT HER A LOTUS."},{"start":9676,"end":10510,"words":"&gt;&gt; FLOATUS IS ON THE PHONE WITH POETUS."},{"start":10510,"end":11044,"words":"&gt;&gt; SHE'LL UPON TO SEE ME."},{"start":11044,"end":17784,"words":"THAT'S WHAT SHE GOT US."},{"start":17784,"end":19386,"words":"&gt;&gt; I WANT TO SEE FLOTULC, AND YOU CAN QUOTE US."},{"start":19386,"end":23323,"words":"&gt;&gt;IMENT TO KICK YOU IN THE SCROATUS."},{"start":23323,"end":25225,"words":"&gt;&gt; Stephen: I'M GOING TO GET YOUR NAME."},{"start":25225,"end":27027,"words":"YOU'RE ON NOTICE."}],"tCCx9vEvOHs":[{"start":110,"end":3330,"words":"You know I've been doing this show a long,"},{"start":110,"end":3330,"words":"long time and you won't believe this"},{"start":3330,"end":6985,"words":"I started doing this show back when headphones still had cords."},{"start":6985,"end":11073,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; But today something is happening that's"},{"start":11073,"end":12890,"words":"never happened before in the history of this show."},{"start":12890,"end":15158,"words":"Today, I'm co-hosting with the First Lady of the United States."},{"start":15158,"end":25158,"words":"&gt;&gt; [APPLAUSE]"},{"start":26600,"end":31396,"words":"&gt;&gt; I know, isn't this exciting, what an honor for her."},{"start":31396,"end":34827,"words":"&gt;&gt; [APPLAUSE] [LAUGH]"},{"start":34827,"end":35432,"words":"&gt;&gt; Michelle and"},{"start":35432,"end":37030,"words":"I had been preparing all day long."},{"start":37030,"end":39120,"words":"The First Lady has been studying up on the guests."},{"start":39120,"end":41305,"words":"I spent the last two hours patting myself down."},{"start":41305,"end":44510,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; So I'm ready, I think she's ready."},{"start":44510,"end":47880,"words":"So please welcome my co-host for the day, the First Lady,"},{"start":47880,"end":49096,"words":"Michelle Obama &gt;&gt; [APPLAUSE]"},{"start":49096,"end":59096,"words":"[MUSIC]"},{"start":80231,"end":86945,"words":"[APPLAUSE] &gt;&gt; Have a seat."},{"start":86945,"end":88385,"words":"Thank you for being my co-host."},{"start":88385,"end":91895,"words":"And you're gonna have to squat a little bit cuz you're too tall."},{"start":91895,"end":94906,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; I think I'm gonna regret saying this,"},{"start":94906,"end":95789,"words":"but I should wear heels."},{"start":95789,"end":97380,"words":"&gt;&gt; You're a little- &gt;&gt; Yeah."},{"start":97380,"end":98469,"words":"&gt;&gt; No, you're good down there."},{"start":98469,"end":100492,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] Uh-uh, no, no."},{"start":100492,"end":102274,"words":"See, you're still competitive, you're still competitive."},{"start":102274,"end":103456,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; All right,"},{"start":103456,"end":107655,"words":"so I'm sure you know the number one job of co-host is to make the host look good."},{"start":107655,"end":109345,"words":"So that's your first job."},{"start":109345,"end":113729,"words":"&gt;&gt; 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[MUSIC]"},{"start":134917,"end":144917,"words":"&gt;&gt; [APPLAUSE]"},{"start":158770,"end":160718,"words":"&gt;&gt; I am so glad you're here."},{"start":160718,"end":162200,"words":"So, you came in a huge motorcade."},{"start":162200,"end":163556,"words":"Where did you all park?"},{"start":163556,"end":165369,"words":"&gt;&gt; We parked right out front."},{"start":165369,"end":166441,"words":"&gt;&gt; You parked in front?"},{"start":166441,"end":167095,"words":"&gt;&gt; Yeah."},{"start":167095,"end":168266,"words":"&gt;&gt; Michelle you should have asked me."},{"start":168266,"end":170124,"words":"No, you can't park there after 3 o'clock."},{"start":170124,"end":172961,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; Do we have a security camera to see"},{"start":172961,"end":174158,"words":"what's happening there?"},{"start":174158,"end":176242,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; So while they're there-"},{"start":176242,"end":177074,"words":"&gt;&gt; That's us, everything looks good."},{"start":177074,"end":178296,"words":"&gt;&gt; That's y'all."},{"start":178296,"end":180536,"words":"You're getting a ticket."},{"start":180536,"end":181318,"words":"No."},{"start":181318,"end":183132,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; You're getting-"},{"start":183132,"end":186277,"words":"&gt;&gt; [APPLAUSE]"},{"start":186277,"end":187520,"words":"&gt;&gt; Why didn't you give me some,"},{"start":187520,"end":189370,"words":"don't you have guest passes or something?"},{"start":189370,"end":191470,"words":"&gt;&gt; No, no. &gt;&gt; I thought we were good out there."},{"start":191470,"end":192061,"words":"&gt;&gt; No, I'm so sorry."},{"start":192061,"end":195445,"words":"You were supposed to park in the structure across the street like everybody else."},{"start":195445,"end":197299,"words":"&gt;&gt; [LAUGH] &gt;&gt; Someone's gonna be in trouble."},{"start":197299,"end":200751,"words":"&gt;&gt; Yeah, well, they're downtown and it's $600 a car so that's good."}],"vJZqTdWNd3c":[{"start":466,"end":2668,"words":"Welcome on behalf of \"The"},{"start":466,"end":2668,"words":"Tonight Show\" and New York City."},{"start":2668,"end":4537,"words":"We like having you here."},{"start":2668,"end":4537,"words":"It is great to see everybody."},{"start":4537,"end":6239,"words":"[ Cheers and applause ]"},{"start":6239,"end":8341,"words":"This is history here, because it's --"},{"start":8341,"end":10510,"words":"\"The Tonight Show's\" been in New York for years,"},{"start":10510,"end":12712,"words":"but it's never had a sitting president here."},{"start":12712,"end":14514,"words":"So this is the first time a sitting president..."},{"start":14514,"end":16716,"words":"Interesting."},{"start":14514,"end":16716,"words":"...is sitting here."},{"start":16716,"end":18217,"words":"[ Laughter ]"},{"start":18217,"end":19786,"words":"My advance people didn't tell me that."},{"start":19786,"end":20820,"words":"Exactly."},{"start":20820,"end":22054,"words":"I'm not sure I would have done it."},{"start":22054,"end":24857,"words":"I mean, is there a reason why other guys didn't do it?"},{"start":24857,"end":26492,"words":"No, yes, no, no."},{"start":26492,"end":28261,"words":"No, there hasn't -- Yeah, exactly."},{"start":28261,"end":30830,"words":"This is the final eight months of your presidency."},{"start":28261,"end":30830,"words":"Yeah."},{"start":30830,"end":32531,"words":"Are you getting a little sentimental?"},{"start":32531,"end":33766,"words":"You getting a little weepy?"},{"start":33766,"end":34734,"words":"No."},{"start":34734,"end":36735,"words":"Come on."},{"start":34734,"end":36735,"words":"No."},{"start":36735,"end":41407,"words":"No, look, this year's really busy."},{"start":41407,"end":42942,"words":"Just like last year was busy."},{"start":42942,"end":45411,"words":"I keep on thinking, \"All right, at a certain point,"},{"start":45411,"end":47146,"words":"things are gonna kind of ease up.\""},{"start":47146,"end":48147,"words":"And they haven't."},{"start":48147,"end":49882,"words":"And we've gotten a lot of stuff done."},{"start":49882,"end":51484,"words":"You know, I had a Cuba trip."},{"start":51484,"end":54187,"words":"I just came back from Vietnam, Hiroshima."},{"start":54187,"end":59225,"words":"And so the work keeps you occupied."},{"start":59225,"end":60960,"words":"Every once in a while,"},{"start":60960,"end":65098,"words":"you start thinking about the people you've worked with."},{"start":65098,"end":68401,"words":"And that's where you start getting a little sentimental."},{"start":68401,"end":70069,"words":"But you try to fight it off,"},{"start":70069,"end":72638,"words":"because you don't want to be crying in the Oval Office."},{"start":72638,"end":77343,"words":"It's a downer, and then people would think, \"My God,\" you know."},{"start":77343,"end":78911,"words":"[ Laughter ]"},{"start":78911,"end":82682,"words":"How can you be our leader?"},{"start":78911,"end":82682,"words":"If they see the president crying..."},{"start":82682,"end":85184,"words":"Every day."},{"start":82682,"end":85184,"words":"...then it could be a problem."},{"start":85184,"end":86485,"words":"Could be a problem."},{"start":86485,"end":88955,"words":"So, I try to screen it out."},{"start":88955,"end":90256,"words":"When is the last day --"},{"start":90256,"end":92825,"words":"Like, when do they say you got to have your bags packed"},{"start":92825,"end":94461,"words":"and you gotta get out of here?"},{"start":94461,"end":98097,"words":"Uh...I don't know. 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	.filter(word => !_.includes(commonWords, word))
	.countBy().toPairs().sortBy(word => -word[1])
	.map(word => word[0] + ':' + word[1]).value();
	console.log(sortedWords);
	});
	});

	</script>
	</body>